Paranormal Activity - Activate your terror - 10 things I learnt

Disclaimer: I am not being paid by the filmmakers, or the distributors, or anyone else to write this. Although I wish they did.

I won’t assume that you have been living under a rock for the last year or two, and haven’t heard of “Paranormal Activity”. I would instead assume that you have already watched it.

A movie that was made in 2007, by a debutant film-maker, Oren Peli, finally found its way to haunt worldwide audiences in 2009, courtesy of Steven Spielberg & the people at Paramount. And haunt it did. Audiences called it the scariest movie of the decade. Critics agreed. Box office confirmed. A movie that was shot in one week, in the director’s own house, with a budget of just $15000, turned to be the biggest “Return On Investment” in movie history, earning almost $150M world-wide.

Peli managed to use unknown actors, a shoe-string budget, a single camera, minimal special effects, his own house, his deepest fears; and gave us an instant horror classic. A terrifying movie that will stay with you long after you leave the movie halls (that is if you haven’t run out of the theatres halfway in the movie). It will bring out your subconscious fears. It will play tricks on your imagination. It will creep you about normal happenings in your own house. It might even polarise opinions. You might love it, or you might absolutely hate it.
You decide.
If you haven’t seen the movie yet, go and watch it. And don’t forget to switch the lights off, once you get in bed that night.

SPOILERS follow ahead. DO NOT read further if you have yet to see the movie.

10 things I learnt from Paranormal Activity:

1. If your girlfriend is scared about things that have been haunting her since she was a kid, be a douche-bag and do not care about her feelings, or fears.


2. Normal occurrences, like keys on the floor, chandeliers swinging, wind blowing, doors moving and closing, can turn out to be the precursor to the worst thing that could ever happen to you.


3. If your house is haunted - instead of calling the experts - try and deal with the situation yourself. A camera helps.


4. If you know there is something scary lying in wait just beyond your closed door, go and open the door in the middle of the night, usually without switching the lights on.


5. Sprinkle powder on the floor to see if any footprints are made. If you do see ghostly footprints in the night, go and investigate where they lead to. In the middle of the freaking night.


6. When your photo-frame turns out smashed, and your face in the picture is slashed, keep staying in the house to deal with the situation.


7. If you find messages scribbled for you, telling you about a previous demonic possession, think of it as a prank your neighbours might be playing on you.


8. If you know there is a demon in your house, provoke it, by using cameras, Ouija boards, taunting it with your stupid jokes.


9. If a psychic tells you that he senses a malevolent presence in your house, and requests you to stop provoking it, be a man and tell the psychic to get lost.


10. Remain blissfully asleep, while your girlfriend wakes up in the night, stands by your bedside, and glares down at you for a couple of hours.

2 additional things:

• Watch out for the next movie by Oren Peli. It’s called Area 51, and scheduled to release in 2010.


• Hope and pray that the studios don't get greedy and release a crap sequel. Remember Blair Witch 2?