Ritually Yours!

(Image source: Tim Boucher)

Rituals, rituals, re-chew-alls. We keep hearing these words again and again. Whether you are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jew, or any of the hundreds of other major, minor, fledgling, just-born, or just-conceived religions in the world, I’m sure you have practised some rituals at some point in your life. Yes, you have.

At their basic, rituals are nothing but a “set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value, which is prescribed by a religion, or by the traditions of a community”. (Thanks Wikipedia). That’s what they are, “A SET OF ACTIONS PERFORMED FOR SYMBOLIC VALUE”. Nothing more, nothing less. Even Atheists perform rituals. Yes they do, keep reading and you’ll get my point.

You see, when something is created, it needs a set of rules by which it will work correctly. A process that you need to follow, to get to the result. To put it more simply in an equation, (since I’m slightly geeky) it can be seen as

[Object + Action = Result]

I’ll provide some examples.

You get in a car, and don’t just drive, do you? You sit, adjust your seat, adjust your mirrors, lock the doors, put the key in the ignition (or press a button if you have one of those trendy ones), start the car, check the hand-brakes, put it in gear, foot on clutch, other on accelerator, and drive off. Congratulations, you have just performed a ritual.
In the previous equation, it will be shown as: [Car + (all those actions) = driving experience].

Similarly, you get up in the morning, do your ablutions, brush your teeth, have a shower, get dressed, and leave for work. Congratulations, you have performed another ritual. i.e. [You + (all those actions) = Presentable you].

While making supper, [raw ingredients + (all those actions) = good meal]
Wow! You can’t stop performing rituals, can you? :-)

Good, so now you getting my point.

(All those actions), performed in a certain way, gives you a certain result.

Thus, (all those actions), could be called as rituals.

However, in religious terms it gets a bit different and complex, but the result remains the same.

Baby + Namakaran ceremony = A baby you can address by a Hindu name.
Baby + Christening ceremony = A baby you can address by a Christian name.
Baby + Aqiqah ceremony = A baby you can address by a Muslim name.

It doesn’t matter what ceremony you use, the kid just needs to be called by some name, and not “hey kid”.

Similarly in marriage:
Man & Woman + Nikaah = Man & Woman married as per Islamic tradition.
Man & Woman + Wedding = Man & Woman married as per Christian tradition.
Man & Woman + Vivaah = Man & Woman married as per Hindu tradition.

It doesn’t matter what tradition you follow, the man and woman just need to get married legally and live together, and not like Angelina and Brad.

So whether you use rituals, to start your car; to start your day; or to start your family; it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you get the end result. i.e. a good driving experience; a better looking and better smelling you; a blissful marriage; children whom you can call using specific names. Simple, isn’t it? But no, how can life be simple? How can humans like simple things? We like complexities. We love divisions. We absolutely strive to be different. So we put in more and more complex procedures in our day to day activities, just in order to seem different, and in some egoistic way, better than the rest.

Imagine 3 kids arguing.

Kid A says, “I take a shower, then I brush my teeth, and then I take a dump.”.
B says, “No that’s wrong, I take a crap, then I shower, and finally I brush my teeth.”.
C says, “You both are wrong. You must do as I do. First brush your teeth, then take a dump, and finally shower.”
A replies angrily, “No you are wrong, I am right. You must do it my way.” B says, “No, my way is the best way.” C finally says, “I don’t agree, let’s call Mom.”

And then they call their mother. The mother lovingly and patiently explains, that it doesn’t matter what you do first, as long as you do all those things before going to school, or else, you’ll have bad breath, stomach aches, and bad body odour; and the rest of the children won’t sit next to either of you.

Now, imagine 3 grown up men in a slightly different scenario.

A says, “You know, the bride and I stand in front of a strange white dressed man, who keeps saying something, and finally the wife and I get to exchange rings and kiss.”
B says, “You are stupid. The right way to do it is, take your bride’s hand and walk circles around a fire 7 times, while another strange man keeps uttering some words, and there you go.”
C says, “Ha. You both are idiots. My way is the best way. I sit in one room with men. The bride sits in the other room with women. I say something in someone’s ear. There, she says something in someone else’s ear. And lo and behold.”
And so they keep arguing. But no one can say who is correct. And this time, they can’t call their Mom. So who do they call? Yes, they summon God. Each person says that their respective God has stated that their way is the only correct way. Any other way is a sin. Now, because there is no one higher than individual Gods, the dispute will keep raging for years to come, with no resolution.

What they forgot, was that the goal was, not to determine which is the best way to perform a ceremony. The goal was, to get married, start a family, have kids, and live happily ever after. So why, and I repeat, Why get stuck up in rituals and ceremonies? And why drag poor God into everything? As if He/She doesn’t have anything better to do. There are people dying all over the world. Diseases, earthquakes, famines, wars, floods, global warming etc etc etc. Shouldn’t God be left free to focus on those things? And, what are we hung up on? Whether I brush my teeth before showering, or after. And why? Because Mom / God says so. Otherwise I’m going to burn in hell.


(Image source: Bite Dose)


That’s the funny thing about us humans. We can beat our wives, abuse our children, kill people, steal stuff, commit adultery, rape innocents, scam money, wage war, fight with each other, destroy the environment; and still be completely oblivious to the fact that God might be watching us. We can do all that, whilst completely ignoring God; that same God whom we keep dragging into stupid discussions. God is absent when we do all those wretched things. But when it comes to doing simple things, noble things, necessary things, we bring God in. We bring traditions in. We bring rituals in.

Does God really care if, you wear your underwear inside your pants or outside? She just cares that you wear something, and not bless others with the unholy sight of a naked you.
Does God really care if, you cook your food in a certain way? He just cares that you eat something, and not die of hunger. Hell is already crowded and there is no space for you.
Does God really care if, you put your keys in your car ignition or just press a button? It just cares that you get to work on time, and bring food to your family table. Else your wife is going to smack you.
Does God really care if, you walk around the fire; or whisper in someone’s ear; or kiss each other in front of hundreds of people? No, God doesn’t care, as long as you both are happy. As long as you both don’t go around killing the wedding guests, raping the cooks, and burning the whole place down.

That’s the whole point.

I’ll give you another example. Just because I like to rub it in. So bear with me. :-)

If you go looking to buy a house, you might use the services of an estate agent, so that they can point you to the right house. Once you find the house you like, what do you do? You pay for the house, you pay commission to your agent, move into the house, and start enjoying your new surroundings, don’t you? You don’t start getting fixated on the estate agent, and start clinging onto him or her, do you? You don’t say that you love your estate agent? You don’t move in with your estate agent, or ask them to move in with you, do you? You don’t start fighting with your neighbours, about who is the best estate agent, do you? You don’t start threatening others that they will go to hell if they don’t use this estate agent, do you? Well, maybe you don’t. But you do threaten others that they will go to hell, if they don’t do a “baptism”, a “nikaah”, an “antim-sanskaar”.

So let me ask you.
When it all ends, would you rather die in the house that you bought? Or do you prefer dying clinging on to the estate agent?
Would you like to be a presentable person? Or would you prefer wasting your time, determining whether to shower first or brush your teeth first?
Would you like to enjoy a nice relaxing drive enjoying the scenery? Or do you wish to sit in the car and demand that there be an ignition button, because you weren’t brought up using a car that needs an ignition key to start?
Do you wish to enjoy good food? Or do you wish to remain hungry, while arguing the benefits of your recipe?
Do you want to enjoy your life? Or do you want to fight for the upholding of your rituals, traditions, and symbolic actions; and kill for them?

It’s time you stop looking at your plates, and start looking at your food. It’s time you stop focussing on your keys, and start opening your doors. And as Osho says, it’s time you stop focussing on the finger, and start focussing on the moon it is pointing towards. It is time.

The time is now.


(Image source: Nat Geo)